Being a Perfect Mommy is Overrated Anyway.

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So I thought I was all “Wonder Mom” because I make my kid breakfast every morning. And home schooling an academically gifted child ain’t a walk in the park either… especially since I’m not even close to being academically ANYTHING. Plus, being a WAHM (Work At Home Mom… not “Wham!“) means I have to somehow fit 12 hours of work into 3 hours, every day.

And then I see all the really neat things other moms have crafted and cooked for their families & homes… and suddenly, I’m relieved nobody has reported me to the DCFS for neglect… lol.

I really do admire mommies who have the time and patience to dedicate several days of the week for craft projects with the kidlets. The creative mommies who decorate their homes to help celebrate the different seasons of the year. Health conscious mommies who make certain everyone meet the daily nutritional requirement for every vitamin and mineral. If you are any or all of these, I salute you. ♥

As much as I try to practice emotional, mental, and spiritual bonding each day with my one and only child… and as much as I love Food Networking it in the kitchen on a daily basis if only to see the sparkle in my son’s eye as he enjoys the meal I’ve prepared for him, there are days when I just need a teeny bit of zone-out time.

It’s on these days the pots, pans, and all the fabulous cooking tools remain undisturbed, and I practice the mysterious art of boiling water for our delicious Cup Noodle dinner.

<quickie trivia> Cup Noodles are pretty big in Japan… they have a wider range of flavors back home like: Curry, Chili Tomato, Miso, Bacon Soy Sauce, Brazilian Chicken, and Fried Rice to name a few! They also have Cup Noodle museums and theme parks! </trivia>

It’s also when I’m not able to expand on every discussion my son and I have. We’re brainstormers… no joke. I explain everything in depth… our discussions quickly grow into 500 individual legs of alternate possibilities. It’s been like this since even before my kid learned how to talk. But I have days when my brain feels like it’s been liquefied, and have only enough brain spark to say what must be said… and nothing more.

Sometimes I’m too beat to keep my eyeballs open that I’ve passed out right on the floor pillows. JRoc’s always been really good about making sure I don’t nap for longer than 2 hours… lol. My son, on the other hand, is not a fan of naps. He hasn’t taken a nap since he was … two? The kid’s got so much energy and takes advantage of every minute of his day. I’m usually full of energy too, but every once in a while… #deflated

Some nights, after J’s gone to dreamland, I pass on putting together a meal plan for the next day (actually, I’ve attempted to do that maybe twice… didn’t work out… lol.) or preparing fresh clothes or school materials for the morning. Instead I sneak in a good cry. Not because I’m sad or upset about anything… it’s like washing away all the extra emotions built up inside… a release. When morning comes, my kid throws on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and gather the stuff he needs for the day’s lessons himself.

And at the end of the day, my son still prays…

Thank you, God for my beautiful mommy. She loves & takes care of me like you do us, and she is the most special gift You have given to me. Thank you for our good health, never letting us go hungry, a roof over our heads, and lots of fun and interesting things to fill our day. Thank you for making me the luckiest boy in the world.

So even though I may not the “perfect” mommy I envisioned myself to be before I became preggers, I now realize that I don’t get points deducted for instant noodle dinners and passing out on the floor. 

Most important, my kid’s crazy about me… 🙂

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Carmen 

I'm a single momma, certified trauma-informed master life coach, narcissistic abuse + toxic relationship recovery, religion teacher, best selling author, foodie wannabe, and advocate for victims of narcissistic abuse.

Currently living la vida loca in Vegas with my son Joshua and our cat Neko... while pseudo-adulting, Tahitian dancing, and exploring the delicious world of bubble tea *woo!*

  • Nanda Ferreira says:

    First time I visit your blog.
    It’s great fun!
    Congratulations and I’m sorry for any mistakes in English, I do not speak very well.

    http://tudoaosdezoito.wordpress.com

    • Awww… thank you for reading, Stephanie! 🙂

  • I love this article. I think as mom’s we are always so hard on ourselves. It is refreshing to admit that we are not perfect. I just started a blog (theguiltymommy.com) as I think sometimes hearing others stories, feelings and struggles can help make you feel a little less like a failure. I know it worked while reading your article. I am actually starting a series of posts regarding Mommy Guilt from different perspectives. If you have any tidbits or would like to guest post from the perspective of being a single mom that would be awesome and I feel like could really help some women. The goal of my site is to give all women with mommy guilt a comfortable place to share their struggles, successes, feelings and discuss mommy guilt. As I do not have the perspective of being a single mom your post may be more beneficial to others in the same stage of life. Thanks so much again for the honesty.

    Alison
    http://www.theguiltymommy.com

    • Hi Alison!

      Yep, admitting we’re human (*gasp!*) and have our weaknesses (*double gasp!!*) can be tough… but empowering at the same time! Sounds like a great blog… thank you for the heads up… I’ll go check it out!! Thank you for reading!!!

  • This made me cry. Your kid is just so sweet. You should definitely keep him. LOL. Lara’s right, parenthood is trial and error. No matter how we prepare ourselves for motherhood or for a family of our own, no one can ever be ready for the first time. We may complain about how kids are so unbearably wild or hyperactive at times and their habit of keeping us awake at night when they were still babies, there will come a time we’ll wish things back to when they were still young, when they still love us insanely and childishly kisses and hugs us tightly. As my mom always says, the days are long but the years are short.

    • Yeah, way past the refund period anyway… lol 🙂

      I agree with you and your mom… I thought I just gave birth to mine… but he’ll be a teen in a few months. Time flies… too fast. *sigh*

  • What is a perfect mommy anyway? Parenthood, for me at least, was and still is a process of trial and error. I love my kid and she loves me and that’s all that matters.

  • Indeed, the quote best describes us. 🙂 Love this post 🙂

    • Hahaha… doesn’t it, Mimi? Our kids think we’re awesome, and that’s all that matters… 😀

  • Oh my gosh, your sweet son’s prayer! It made me cry, it was so wonderful that he believes he is the luckiest boy in the world because of you.
    I think that proves you are the perfect mommy!
    I’m a single mom of two teens, and I work both a full time and a part time job. I am very envious of other moms who actually have time to do crafts with their kids and plan fabulous meals. But I think my kids know how much I love them, and that’s really the only thing that matters. (Plus, my kids think it is a special treat to be “allowed” chips and salsa for dinner occassionally!)

    • Hi Deborah!

      Thank you so much! My kid’s pretty cool… I think I’ll keep him. hahaha 🙂

      And… holy wonder woman!! TWO teens and 2 jobs? Bless your heart!! I think we have the tendency of being our toughest critic… we want to make certain our kids aren’t missing out on anything… ever But you’re right… we can see how we’re doing as parents just by looking at our babies (because they will *always* be our babies, right?) . We may not be like any other mommies, but we’re our babies’ mommy… and THAT is what they thrive on… not the image of the “perfect mom” we have in our minds. 🙂

      I’m sending you prayers for continued strength & peace!!

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