When I post good news on FB:
- She’s bragging again, just ignore her.
- Her “wins” don’t matter because she has it easy.
- She didn’t do any of those things, she’s delusional.
- She’s trying to get credit for her son’s success – like she does with everything else.
Same people, when I’m slammed with work and take a break from posted:
- No “wins” to share?
- Nothing to brag about today?
- Maybe she got dumped again.
- Don’t check up on her. She’s trying to get attention.
Either way, I get no love from people who’s already decided they don’t like me no matter what. lol
Stuff like this used to bother me, especially if it came out of nowhere… but the reality is that everyone’s got their own poop to deal with.
Other people’s reaction to you is always based on how your existence / accomplishments makes them feel about themselves . ALWAYS.
It might sound all self-help woo-woo, but it’s true.
So for example, if I say,
My son who just graduated from high school last year has been elected as an Executive Officer for a heart-health organization in his university and I’m very proud of him!
There are always two distinct groups of people who respond/react to my sharing these types of news.
Group #1: People who congratulate him for his hard work and communicate how impressed they are with how much he’s grown throughout the years. They’re always there to share my pride and joy as his mom, and that always means so much to me. Majority of people fit in this group.
Group #2: Small group of people take this as a personal attack and REACT as such:
- “I already graduated from college when I was his age.”
- “That’s not hard to do. I was officer for a club in high school.”
My sharing good news about my child (or anything else) somehow becomes an attack on THEIR abilities and worth. I usually have no other contact with these people, so I definitely haven’t done anything to cause them grief.
This means it’s all on them.
And while I’m obsessively careful about how I word my messages about relationships, recovery from abuse, and self-worth, I’m not about to walk on eggshells when I share exciting news about my son (or myself) – to avoid triggering someone else's insecurities.
Because that’s EXACTLY what this sh*t’s about.
If you can’t just be happy for someone, and they’ve done nothing to hurt you or your family, destroy your reputation, or negatively affect your livelihood – it’s because you’re feeling directly or indirectly threatened.
THAT’S IT. Get that taken cared of, please.
And if you’re constantly on the receiving end of this sorry-azz behavior, learn how to NOT take it personally, because it really is not about you. Read The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz (specifically chapters 2-5) to help you avoid ownership of other people’s issues.
Other people’s reaction to you isn’t FACT. They’re just opinions to which they’re entitled to. And your interpretation of what others communicate about you ISN’T fact either… but it eventually becomes a belief, so choose wisely what you choose to believe about yourself.
You don’t have to own other people’s baggage… let them carry their own junk.
